Four years ago, a grandmother accidentally invited a stranger to her Thanksgiving dinner via text message. Ever since, they've celebrated the holiday together and despite the pandemic, this year was no exception.
Wanda Dench and Jamal Hinton celebrated their fifth Thanksgiving on Friday in Mesa, Arizona, but there was an empty seat at the dinner table. After 43 years of marriage, Dench's husband, Lonnie Dench, passed away in April from complications caused by Covid-19.
"I wasn't looking forward to it at first because Lonnie wasn't going to be there. The past seven months have been so difficult, but this was really important to me," Dench, 63, told CNN.
From left, Wanda Dench, her husband Lonnie Dench, Jamal Hinton and his girlfriend Mikaela Autumn. Lonnie Dench passed away in April from complication caused by Covid-19.
"I can't even explain how much joy I had, having good food with my favorite company. We laughed, we had a great time, we reminisced about the past. It was so good for all of us."
The two shared a Thanksgiving dinner with Hinton's girlfriend and Dench's daughter and grandson. The small group decided to celebrate Thanksgiving on Friday so they could get tested for coronavirus before celebrating with their own families so they don't risk spreading the virus.
"At first it was sad. We had a photo of Lonnie at the table with a candle lit, and we were all shaky in the beginning but it lasted five minutes before we were back to ourselves," Hinton, 21, told CNN. "We just told jokes and stories and shared our memories of Lonnie, so it was amazing."
From strangers to friends to family
Dench and Hinton are a pair of unlikely friends. All it took to bring them together was a couple of texts to the wrong number.
Dench, a grandmother of six, meant to text her grandson to invite him to her 2016 Thanksgiving dinner, but accidentally texted then 17-year-old Hinton while he was in class.
He was confused that someone claiming to be his grandma had texted him. She sent a smiling selfie of herself at work. She wasn't his grandma, but he asked if he could still have a plate.
"Of course you can," she replied. "That's what grandmas do ... feed everyone!"
So he showed up at her home to share the meal, and the two immediately became friends. Eventually, he and his girlfriend began going on regular double dates with Dench and Lonnie.
"It all has to do with this feeling. There's just this connection. It feels like we've known each other in past lives," Dench said. "There's absolutely no generational gap between us. The conversation just flows, we never run out of things to talk about."
When Hinton first showed up on Dench's doorsteps, he was worried there would be awkward silences or moments where he wouldn't know what to say. What he didn't expect was how she would very quickly become one of his closest friends.
"Whenever we met, we would spend four or five hours, just talking and talking. It was never awkward, Wanda and Lonnie became two close best friends to me," Hinton said.
"There's nothing about her that is mean, or uncaring. It feels like I have told her my whole life story, and she always listens and shares her own story. She's just the most loving person. She's pretty much perfect."
Remembering Lonnie
For Dench and Hinton, spending Thanksgiving together is a cherished tradition they both hope never has to stop. But without Lonnie, things feel a little bit different.
"Lonnie was missing this year, and he was a big part of the Thanksgiving story and a big part of our lives, but that's one thing Wanda and I know for sure. Lonnie would have been very angry if we didn't have Thanksgiving together," Hinton said.
Lonnie passed away on April 5 after battling coronavirus and suffering from double pneumonia caused by the virus, according to Dench.
"I didn't believe I would have to go home without him," she said. "Even when he was in the hospital, I thought he would get better and come back to me. He was my soul mate. He was my biggest cheerleader."
What everyone remembers most about Lonnie, she added, was his kindness. He was known for offering random donations to hospice centers, paying for people's meals without them knowing, and helping anyone he sees in need.
Hinton's memories of him are no different.
"Lonnie was never the quiet guy. Right when I walked in the door the first time I met him, he didn't even reach out for a handshake. He just immediately pulled me in for a hug," Hinton said. "He was the kind of guy to always bring your hopes up whenever you felt down. Losing him was losing a best friend."
Hinton and Dench are still healing from their loss, and say Lonnie's memory will live with them forever. For now, they just hope his story will encourage people to be more careful during the pandemic.
"Just have patience," Dench said. "I know it isn't easy, and everyone is frustrated and just wants to get back to normal. But we need to have hope and always care about other people."
10 tips for tackling the Thanksgiving Day spread
What size turkey should I buy?
Tally the number of guests and figure about 1 pound of turkey per person or 1 ½ pounds if you want leftovers. A 15-pound turkey should be enough for 10 people. If your guests prefer more breast meat, buy a larger turkey. They generally have more breast meat.
How do I thaw the turkey?
Allow at least 24 hours of thawing time for each 5 pounds of turkey.
Always thaw the bird in the refrigerator in its original wrapping, never at room temperature. Warm temperatures promote bacteria growth.
If you forget to take the turkey out of the freezer in time to thaw it in the refrigerator, here’s a safe cold-water thawing method.
Place the turkey in its unopened packaging in the sink and cover it completely with cold water. Change the water every 30 minutes. Rotate the bird occasionally and allow 30 minutes of thawing time per pound. A 10-pound turkey will take at least 5 hours to thaw using this method.
What about a fresh turkey?
No thawing necessary, obviously. But the USDA says you must cook a fresh turkey within two days of purchase or freeze it.
How do I prepare the turkey for roasting?
Take the turkey out of the refrigerator and remove the wrapping. Remove the neck and giblets from inside the bird. Thoroughly rinse the turkey, inside and out, with cold water. Pat dry with paper towels.
Preheat the oven to 325 degrees.
Lift the wing tips up and over the back and tuck under the bird. Or tie them to the body with kitchen string.
Place the turkey, breast side up, on a rack in a shallow roasting pan. The rack should be at least a half-inch from the bottom of the pan. The pan needs to be shallow for heat to circulate properly around the turkey.
Season the turkey cavity with salt and pepper. Tie the legs together with kitchen string. Brush the turkey with vegetable oil or rub with unsalted butter. Season the exterior of the turkey with salt and pepper.
When should I stuff the bird?
If you’re going to stuff the turkey, now’s the time. Always stuff just before popping the bird in the oven, never before.
Also, mix the stuffing ingredients together just before you’re ready to stuff the turkey. Loosely spoon the stuffing into the cavity, allowing about ¾ cup per pound. Don’t overdo it. A 10-pound turkey should hold about 7 cups of stuffing.
Should I roast the bird covered or uncovered?
The Butterball folks recommend cooking the turkey uncovered in a roasting pan.
Two-thirds of the way through cooking, Butterball says foil can be placed over the breast area to prevent it from drying out.
If you put foil on the breast, remove it about 30-45 minutes before the turkey is done to allow the breast to brown.
Should I baste?
Start basting with a bulb baster after the turkey has been in the oven about an hour by drawing up the pan juices. If you wrapped the breast in foil, you’ll need to lift the foil to baste. Baste quickly because each time you open the oven door, heat escapes and can affect the cooking time. Add a cup or two of turkey stock or chicken broth to the roasting pan to supplement the pan juices for basting.
How will I know when the turkey is done?
Roasting times vary with the size of the turkey, whether it is stuffed and the oven temperature. This is where using oven-safe meat thermometers or instant-read thermometers comes in handy.
The turkey is done when the internal temperature reaches 165 degrees.
If you don’t have a thermometer, check the turkey at the estimated time by piercing it in several places with a fork. The turkey is done when the juices run clear. Let it rest at least 20 minutes before carving for easier slicing.
The sides
While there are no set rules as to how many to have, one or two is fine to go along with the mashed potatoes and stuffing. Here are a few side dish tips:
Peel potatoes in the morning or several hours in advance for mashed potatoes. Put them in a bowl of cold water and refrigerate.
Clean and prep vegetables to be used in casseroles or on their own the day before. Chop, slice or dice them and store in plastic sealable bags in the refrigerator. You can, if needed, blanch (slightly precook) the day before. Be sure they are completely dry before storing them.
Think about things you don’t eat often and try something new. It can be as simple as freshening up glazed carrots with fresh herbs such as thyme or rosemary. Or perk up those potatoes by adding mashed rutabaga or parsnips for a different flavor.
Make stuffing in advance by sauteing onions and celery and any meats the night before. Cool and store them in plastic bags. Then, on Thursday morning, reheat the vegetables to make the stuffing.
Some casserole-type dishes such as potato gratins can be assembled the day before baking. Plan on adding an extra 10 to 15 minutes baking time for the chilled dishes.
Running out of oven space? Don’t forget the outdoor grill. It’s like having an extra oven. Keep it on low (200 degrees) to keep things warm. Cover whatever you are keeping warm so it doesn’t dry out.
Tips for making pie dough
Have all the ingredients well-chilled, including the flour. Cut the butter and shortening in pieces and stick them in the freezer to chill them.
If using a food processor, place plastic wrap over the work bowl. This way the flour won’t fly all over.
Add only enough liquid so the dough comes together.
Shape the dough into a disk (not a ball), wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate it.
Roll out the dough between pieces of plastic wrap or wax paper to make transferring it to the pie pan simple.
To prevent soggy bottom crusts, brush with beaten egg white before adding the filling and bake the pie in the lower third of the oven.
