There is nothing more priceless than writing your own wedding vows. These carefully chosen and spoken words will reveal the essence of your love for each other and serve as special memories that can literally last a lifetime.

If you’re considering writing your own vows, there are some steps to take before making your final decision. Read on for tips on how to work together with your spouse to prepare your special vows.

The groundwork

The first thing to do is to make sure you both agree on the idea of writing your own vows, and if so, whether you will write them together or keep it secret until the wedding.

To make sure you stick to a reasonable time limit, make sure to build in a specific word count. Vows that last five minutes or more may be a bit excessive, so keep the words smooth and concise.

Be sure to discuss the idea of reciting your own vows with your officiant. Some may prefer traditional vows, but there may be a way for you to also work in your own wording. Let the officiant know what you are thinking and be open to different ways to pull it off.

Personal vows

A good place to start when writing your vows is how you met. Pinpoint that first moment you laid eyes on your spouse and bring back the memories with poignant words. Another good idea is to borrow quotes from books or poetry that have a special spot in your relationship.

After describing the beginning, move to the present. Now is a good time to describe the personal and enduring traits — loyalty, strength, humor — that caused you to end up here on your special day with your spouse.

Finally, end your vows with your hopes and dreams for the future. Promise all the things you are prepared to do to make your marriage last forever.

Additional tips

There are no rules for writing your own vows, but it’s best to follow the cues of your relationship. Be authentic. You know your spouse better than anyone else, so understand whether the moment will call for humor or more serious, sensitive words.

Maybe you want to deliver one powerful sentence or sing your vows. There are countless ways to express your love, so take the time and put in the effort to kick off your marriage the right way.