Earlin Humes II of Orangeburg, July 2008 Father of the Month; father of two: Jonathan, 26, and Earlin III, 12; married to Donna

"I usually look at everything in terms of my faith and my belief, so when I think of being a father, I think of my relationship with God the Father, who loved me so much that He was willing to send His son to die for me, even though I didn't deserve it. When I think of 'father,' I think of someone who's willing to go the extra mile for his own child and who, ultimately, is willing to give up his own life because he loves them so much.

"Sometimes, in order to show your children that you love them, you can't always say yes, and you can't always say no. ... You have to try to explain to them why you made a decision, and that you did it in their best interest.

"(A father) accepts his responsibility and lets it be known how much he loves and respects (his children). We need to let our children know we love and respect them. I want them to be able to put God first in their lives.

"Love is important, and it's extremely important that male children know that you respect them. It's something my father did for me, and it's something I do for my children ... knowing that they're going to make good decisions, and they're going to make bad decisions, but I love and respect them regardless."

Robert Neal of Bowman, August 2008 Father of the Month; father of five: Elden, 30, Lamont, 26, Shoshawna, 23, Laura, 18, and Jacquita, 17; married to Catherine

A father is someone who's always "there for their children, even if they don't want them to be. Like, if they happen to get hooked up with the wrong life (or in the wrong crowd) ... let them know you are concerned for them. Continue to talk to them.

"It takes a man to be a father. ... Someone who's willing to sacrifice, put their children first ... to be there for them.

"I was always there trying to help them in any way I could, trying to give them the best advice in any situation.

"I just feel happy to be the father of the ones that I am a father to, and to pass on my experiences in my life. I can give them information on how to better handle (situations) than when I came along."

David Bryant of St. Matthews, September 2008 Father of the Month; father of six: Shelby, 12, Katie, 10, Fulton, 8, Ethan, 5, Lilly, 3, and Ellie, 2; married to Jan

"My definition of a father would be someone who leads by example and tries to teach their children how to live their life in a way that is pleasing to God. Teach them to do the right things. That's our job, is to try to guide them in the right direction.

"You just need to understand that you are the leader of the household, and the children are going to copy everything you do, and you've got to lead by example because they are going to look up to you more than anyone else. The younger they are, the more impressionable they are. They are just going to do whatever you do.

"When I'm not at work, I'm with them, as simple as that. ... They come to me when they have any kind of concerns, issues, and they do that because we have such a close relationship."

Frank Rast of Orangeburg, October 2008 Father of the Month; father of three: Monty, 38, Tyson, 33, and Jamie, 31; married to Carol

"Most importantly, love and respect your children, and realize that children are each different in their own special way and you have to deal with them in their own way. You should tell your children every time you see them that you love them, and you should show them in your actions, as well.

"You should try to develop a relationship that builds confidence and trust, and praise your children for successful achievements ... and always be there when discussions come.

"When discussing decisions (to be made), listen with open ears, and whatever decision is made, when you're talking over it, support your child and the decision that has been made. There may be some disagreement, but support the decision your child has made.

"Between my children and grandchildren, I just want them to be happy. I worry about the future and their well-being more than anything else.

"The best advice I could give any father is just to love your child and develop a close, trusting relationship with them.

"There's not a child in my family that you just wouldn't die for. I don't under how some fathers can be distanced from their children ... after the Lord has blessed you with, given you children, you should really be thankful for what you've got and try to do the best with what He's given you."

Erskine Reed of Orangeburg, December 2008 Father of the Month; father of three: Sherell, 32, Curran, 29, and Taylor, 17; married to Gloria

"A father is someone who's supposed to support his family, live by example and just provide for the family, and take time ... out for your family and give them the guidance and direction they need to become a productive citizen.

"I had a good father, and to me, it's almost common sense what a father's supposed to do. ... Support your family. Lead by example. There is so much influence out there. If you don't give them the guidance and attention, they will get it from somewhere else.

"Be involved in your kids life. Take the time. Don't ever be too busy.

"It (being a father) is just a great experience, and you really need to cherish the moments."

Chris Johnson of St. Matthews, January 2009 Father of the Month; father of four: Maegan, 20, Caitlin, 16, Rachel, 12, and Caleb, 4; married to Wendy

"My definition of being a dad (is) you need to be, as much as you can, a role model, spiritual leader of your home ... and let your entire family know how much you love them.

"Don't be afraid to hug them, try to develop mutual interests and try to spend as much time as you can with them. Tell them you love them. ... When you're serious, let them know you're serious.

"I think as you spend and invest time in your kids, they grow up and it shows. They turn out to be all they can be, and all they're supposed to be."

Richard McArthur of Orangeburg, February 2009 Father of the Month; father of two: David, 23, and Cory, 17; married to Pam

"I honestly believe a father is an individual who ... wants to, as one of God's creations, to teach and give back to life. Teach them always to be respectful. ... There are two things in life that no one can take away, your word and your integrity, and keeping those intact will carry you through life.

"Bringing up children in today's world is very hard, but we have to remember we have to bring them up with the old values in life," such as being honest, being respectful and mindful of others, etc.

"I'm very involved in both my son's lives. (It's helped our relationship) immensely, because it let them know I was always there for them, and I want them to always come to me when they have problems. They can always come to me.

"They'll always be number one in my life, both of them."

Joseph Williams of Orangeburg, March 2009 Father of the Month; father of four: Janeka, 16, Destiny, 14, Markja, 11, and Marklya, 10; married to Mary

"I'm more stern on the kids than anything because I want them to take full advantage of life. I love my daughters ... I don't let them look at anything that degrades them. It's little stuff like that. ... If I hear them use slang, I correct them, because I want them to know it's OK to use slang, but it's better to use the right words.

"We make sacrifices ... but they are real good sacrifices. I believe a child deserves every second of your time. ... I think a father or a parent, when it comes to sacrifices for the kids, is unconditional. I never second guess myself when I make a sacrifice for (my kids) because it was for the best reason of all.

"I was brought up in a broken home with a mother and father and watched them fuss and fight. ... I was able to see the good and bad of being a parent. ... I was able to make a choice at a young age. I was able to choose good because I already knew what the bad outcome was.

"Going to the park -- that makes my day. Going to McDonald's and buying them a $1 ice cream, that makes my day. ... We always give them what they want, but we give them what they need first.

"Being able to be in their life is a blessing, being able to guide someone in the right direction ... all the time, that's like an emotional high, knowing that you are always and constantly helping someone. ... Just invest in your children, in all aspects -- mentally, physically and financially. At night, when you lay down, know that you did all you could do.

"Be involved -- that's what a child needs. ... If you get them, spend time with them. Every little moment counts."

Finley Dickson of Bamberg, April 2009 Father of the Month; father of one: Milo, 10

"I try to spend all the time I can with him, as much time as I can with him. ... Just be with them, listen to them, learn from them -- they'll teach you more than what you may want to learn -- and answer their questions as best you can.

"As soon as I leave work, I go straight looking for him. I'm divorced, but I check on him every day. I really try to keep up with him as much as I can. He's got a lot of good friends ... and he's always on the go, but I try to stay with him and keep him straight.

"I'm going to stick with him and lead him down the right road, the same way my parents did with me."

The Rev. Archie Fair of Orangeburg, May 2009 Father of the Month; father of two: Amanda, 22, and Akeia, 19; married to Linda

"A good father is one that's a servant, diligent, and God-fearing.

"Just spend time (with them) ... a lot of time. Quality time comes out of quantity time. You don't know when a teaching moment is going to come. Sometimes, you will see things or things will happen -- a good teaching moment.

"I believe in relationships. All we have is relationships -- relationships with God, with your children, your family. Everything else is going to pass away.

"It's not really the money you spent on them ... but just spending time on them. ... Young people only have examples that we present to them, that are around them.

"I have found they don't really do what you say ... but they will do what you do.

"It's a honor, a blessing and a privilege to be (a father), and with every blessing, there is a responsibility."

Compiled by T&D Features Editor Wendy Jeffcoat Crider

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