I wish to make an apology to all of you for not getting last week’s column in the paper. It didn’t arrive by mail at The Times and Democrat in time for publication in Saturday’s edition.
I want to share the following little joke with you this week:
“A wealthy Texas oil man decided to put on a lavish pool party at his ranch. Just prior to the appointed time, he decided to pull a prank on his guests. He called a local pet shop and ordered a dozen poisonous snakes. After the arrival of all the guests, he made an announcement.”
“‘Friends,’ he said, “‘you will notice the snakes in the pool, so I am making you an offer. Anyone who will swim the length of the pool, I will give you a choice of the following: You can either have a 100 of my best cattle, 10 of my best oil wells, or my beautiful daughter’s hand in marriage.’”
“No sooner than the announcement was made, he heard a splash. Swimming the length of the pool was a young man frantically attempting to win the prize. The host approached him and said, ‘Sir, I had no idea anyone would take me up, but since you are the winner, which one of the gifts do you want? The cattle, oil well, or my beautiful daughter’s hand in marriage?’”
“‘Sir,’ the young man exclaimed, ‘the only gift I want is the name of the rascal that pushed me in.’”
Last week we celebrated Mothers Day. To be perfectly frank with you, I have never made a big to-do about this date. You see, I always thought every day should be Mother’s Day. God gave me the best mother in the world, and although I must have disappointed her on occasion, she left me with a lot of memories. The one thing that stands out the most was her selflessness. She always put everyone else ahead of her. I always thought I came from a very poor family, but in her generosity, she taught me differently. I can’t remember her not making a dress for some lady in our community who needed one but couldn’t afford one. I remember one time a young woman in our area had a baby. She ran a fever for a while after the baby arrived. Unable to do her regular duties, Mama saw to it that her friend had a pot of homemade vegetable soup. Simple as it may sound, this act of love included picking vegetables from the garden, cooking the soup and walking a distance to deliver it.
My mother’s favorite fruit was bananas. You could purchase three large ones for a dime. The little country store had them from time to time. I remember one time we had a dime to spare and I bought three beauties, one of which I ate on my way home. Then, instead of eating the other two, my mother made a large banana pudding that she also shared with some neighbors who were needy.
Witnessing these acts of kindness by my mother over the years taught me a special lesson in giving: If it’s not worth sharing, it’s not worth having.
It always makes me sad when I know of cases where children are not taught to share. As a result, I never think of Mother’s Day as a special day because, in my opinion, every day should be Mother’s Day.
A belated Happy Mother’s Day to you.
Lest we forget ...
T&D Columnist Rinehart Chewning is a long-time resident of Holly Hill. His column appears every Saturday.