I find Mother's Day a great opportunity to celebrate motherhood and to remember our mothers -- whether biological, foster or adoptive. It's an occasion to honor our mothers for their past and present accomplishments. We recognize that mothers' roles have changed significantly in recent years. Today's mothers are CEOs, teachers, physicians, nurses, elected officials, police officers, volunteers, homemakers and heads of household.
Many serve in poverty on the front line of life's struggle. By nature, these mothers are problem-solvers, care-givers and teachers, regardless of their job descriptions. They use their talents in every sector of our society, helping their own and all children, through their professions, to look forward with hope and faith in the future.
Being born and raised in a culture that reveres mothers and believes that the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world, I find myself revitalized on Mother's Day by recalling real-life stories of great mothers who put their needs and wants on hold and stand as role models to raise their children with ambitious determination and the courage to turn tragedy into triumph.
As I reflected on model mothers, numerous mothers flashed into my mind's eye. This Mother's Day, I choose to write about Mrs. Elinder Martin, a retired 27-year teacher of English and reading at Hinds County Public Schools in Edwards (population of about 1,300) Miss.
A little while ago, while flipping channels, I landed on "Oprah." I saw three bright young African-American men with exuberant smiles sitting by Oprah as guests. Oprah was talking to Mrs. Elinder Martin, the mother of these triplets, who was sitting in the front row with the audience. Oprah was crediting the triplets' entire success to their inspiring upbringing, to their mother's determination, perseverance and courage. The subject seemed so interesting and inspiring to me that I ended up watching the entire segment.
Kenya, Deshon and Warren, known as the "Martin triplets," lost their father, who unexpectedly died in 1989 of a massive heart attack, when they were 10 years old. After the death of her husband, Mrs. Martin became the primary caregiver for the triplets and their two elder brothers. Though she struggled to make ends meet, she never let her sons take education for granted. One of the triplets talked about how his mother made certain that they were in school the day after their father's death. He recounted, "Amid the weeping, amid the tears, the crying, the sorrow, she looked us in the eyes and said, 'You're going to school.'" Reflecting on how education and faith have been cornerstones of their household, one of them said, "She kept us at church; she kept us at the house and at the school. She was determined to make sure that we succeeded."
Mrs. Martin, a language arts and reading teacher, made sure the triplets' education didn't stop when they got home from school. She made them memorize state capitals and multiplication tables before they could play outdoors. "Once we had them memorized, we could go outside, ride our bikes, and (as we rode,) we could sing our multiplication facts to each other," said one of them. "Mom was determined not to let us become a statistic. ... She was determined to make sure we succeeded and that we got out of this ghetto," added another of the triplets.
The triplets finished high school at the top of their class and then followed their older brother, Ivan, to Jackson State University, where Kenya and Warren graduated as valedictorians and Deshon finished with a 3.9 grade-point average.
After college, the triplets attended the School of Law at the University of Mississippi. Now, at 28 years old, they are practicing attorneys in their home state.
Mrs. Martin stands content and accomplished. All her hard work has paid off. All five of her sons are college graduates. When she was asked about her parenting secret, she said, "A lot of praying. .. As the boys said, I integrated church, school and home; home first, school second, and then church. ... I lived it, demonstrated it (and) modeled it.
"I laid the groundwork for them to achieve and be where they are now. ... All children can learn, but we have to find that niche in which they are capable of learning and go from there," said the mother.
Now, the Martin triplets are setting an example for future generations. When they graduated from law school, confident in their calling, they made an ambitious
pact among themselves. The triplets pledged to give back $1 million to their alma mater within seven years of their May 2004 law school graduation. The money will be used to establish educational scholarships for incoming students.
Oliver Wendell Holmes said, "Youth fades, love droops, the leaves of frie-ip fall; a mother's secret hope outlives them all." At times, mothers are pictured as angels with wings or as goddesses; however, I would rather see an everyday mother, without divine wings or supernatural power, who undertakes all the challenges dished out to her by fate and the world and stands unwaveringly to raise her children with confidence, patience and everlasting, unconditional love.
Mothers such as Mrs. Martin prove what can be done. Although they do not dress like Wonder Woman, they are the equal of the epic character. I think any woman who lovingly raises her child from infancy to adulthood deserves to be called a superhero. And these mothers need to be respected, recognized, loved and cared for not just on Mother's Day, but every day.
Mandakini Hiremath is a Claflin instructor and coordinator of the university's writing center.